Granger Smith is continuing to speak out about the tragic loss of his son, River, who passed away in a drowning accident in the family’s swimming pool last year. Granger and his wife, Amber, have become outspoke advocates for water safety since the accident occurred — lessons they wish they had known while River was still alive.
“I know that there’s going to be a time when I’m going to forgive myself, but I’m not there yet,” Granger told People.
“I don’t know if we ever truly will be able to forgive ourselves,” Amber added. “I pray that we can. I hope we can.”
Both Granger and Amber thought they knew plenty about water safety, but after River’s death, they realized they had so much more to learn.
“It’s not like the movies,” Granger noted. “To comprehend that you could lose someone to drowning 20 feet from you doesn’t make any sense unless you know how that process works and that it’s so silent. There isn’t splashing or gurgling or kicking. There wasn’t even a splash going in.”
Granger and Amber recalled the devastating day earlier this week, in a poignant interview on the Today Show, where they shared what they have learned about water safety since then.
“I would have thought a year ago, supervision — just watch your kids. Just watch them,” Granger acknowledged. “And I know now, from my own experience, that no human being on this planet is capable to say that’s enough. Because that requires 24/7. And if you add a gate, that’s not enough. If you add swimming lessons, that’s not enough. Pool alarm, it’s not enough.
Granger and Amber’s lives were profoundly changed by the loss of their little boy. While they grieve him all day, every day, Granger says the experience also brought out some good, mostly in himself.
“I feel like I’ve died. It’s not a bad thing that that ‘me’ died. In fact, I think it’s all good. It’s only good,” Granger said, adding that he has “truly shed layers.”
“I feel wiser,” he added. “I feel more in tune spiritually. I feel more aware of our present moment and the value in the present moment, the value in the current breath that we have.”
Granger eventually went back on the road, taking Amber and his children London and Lincon along with him, but found that even the one thing that usually brought him solace — performing — was incredibly painful.
“[It] was terrible. But I knew that would be a critical part of my healing process, and my gut instinct was right,” Granger said.
Both Granger and Amber have relied on their faith more than ever before, as they continue on without River.
“My brain is not capable of calculating that magnitude of a loss, and then I have to realize that I don’t have to. I can lean on a higher power for that and know that my little boy is in a better place.” Amber said. “I’ve never felt closer to God than I did from the night of the accident on. I’ve never felt that He has left me or forsaken me.”
Photo Credit: Shutterstock / Joe Seer